Why am I still single?

That's a good question to ponder over, but also one that I dread my parents and relatives asking me over the Chinese New Year, when will it ever stop? I guess when I finally find myself a boyfriend to present to them.

I am not ugly; in fact, I do think that I am above average like many have told me. I am educated, nice to people and dress well. So what's the problem if you ask me? I have had a few serious relationships, I had been in love, and I dated men I loved but did not work out eventually.

To be honest, I am quite sick of it, tired of being with someone for years and to realize how incompatible we are later on. When the initial attraction and passion have faded, what is left of it? The things you found to be adorable and attractive in the beginning then began to annoy you, sometimes either of us took each other for granted, we got bored of one another and then came the split mounting to the reason that we were too different. Or worse, they were already on the lookout while in the relationship. It happened to me once and it just completely destroyed whatever we had built up together, the trust and commitment.

Why am I still looking then? Do you realise most of us actually are living to seek for a loved one we want to grow old with? Ultimately when we grow old and material possessions lose its importance, the thing that will last till we die is love (from our children and grandchildren).

Some people told me this before, and I actually thought it was nonsense. They told me the person they married is their best friend. Now I am starting to believe in it. So what to fall back on after the initial honeymoon stage is over, the answer is a solid friendship. Looks will fade, initial attraction will be worn out, and it really does take a lot more to make a relationship last than you think. So I reckon if you are also your partner's best friend, life will be a lot easier. We don't try to change our friends, do we? We accept them for who they are, and that's probably the reason why best friends last forever!

I am single now, but it doesn't mean I stop dating or meeting people. I enjoy my freedom; I like to keep my options open. I meet people and form new friendships, some might last and some might not. I don't have expectations, I don't set standards, and I just let things happen naturally. It might be a long and tough process, especially considering how many people live in Singapore at the moment, and I am not meeting 0.01% of them, maybe not even 0.001%! How I wish I can meet more people just to speed things up.

Then I thought of this idea, how about joining some events organised by a dating agency? It will create chances for me with guys I never will bump into at the clubs, on the streets or through my friends, and best of all, it does the filtering according to my preferences (e.g. common lifestyle and being a non-smoker). So for now, I'm just going to enjoy my single life, get to know many of these wonderful men till the right one wins my heart!


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